cdbragg

    I'm a middle-aged man. I know this to be true because I woke up with a seriously sore back the other day and moaned and groaned like an elderly gent all day long. I could only get to sleep that night by applying Deep Heat, thus making my bedroom smell like a football change room.  The pain has passed thankfully, but the stiffness remains and I still find myself making involuntary groans and grunts when I bend down. It is a very unsatisfying feeling to realise you are old, hence the fact that I have learnt, at last, what middle age is.  Middle age is a way of describing yourself, that, while not being young, at least creates the impression that you are not decrepit. For men this is very important. Inside each and every one of us is a 12 year old boy, dying to get out...not very deep inside either! Men, for example, like flatulence. It is satisfyingly purile and entertaining all at once. To be fair, all bodily eruptations are funny; but farts are king. That position obviously hasn't shifted since primary school. This twelve-year-old, inner child, is still certain that we can run so fast...